Blitz felt worse every day. The emptiness that had replaced his heart with Stolas’s rejection was growing and felt more painful as the time passed. Still, he went on with his work and tried to improve himself. He was kinder and more respectful of his employees, he kept apologizing to those he had wronged in the past, went to therapy, and gave his daughter the space she desired although he still said he loved her on a regular basis.
Still, it had been a month since “the incident” and Blitz was deteriorating. It had slowed down since he started making amends with people but his mental state worsened despite that. Millie was very obviously concerned and while Moxxie hid his concern, he still worried about their boss. He began to do small things to try and make things better: going on coffee runs for Blitz, staying longer and not immediately leaving, grabbing cough drops when Blitz developed a bad cough.
****
“Ugh,” Blitz groaned as he woke up coughing violently. “Christ on a stick, why won’t this cough go away?” He grabbed a cough drop and started sucking on it, thanking Moxxie mentally and hoping it’d soothe his throat. It felt like there was something in there. He chuckled weakly at that. It’d be impossible for something to be stuck in his throat.
Going into the office, he painted a smile on his face, though it didn’t hide the exhaustion in his eyes or posture. “Well, who’s ready to kill some people?”
“Sir, I mean this in the nicest way possible, you look like sh*t. Are you even capable of safely going to Earth like this??” Moxxie blurted out.
“I am perfectly fine. It’s just a cold. I won’t have you doubting my cap-” he stopped mid sentence as he doubled over and coughed up a couple blood stained flower petals. “What the f*ck?” That single sentence summed up what everyone in the office was thinking.
“Blitz, as tough as you are, I’m going to have to side with Moxxie here. You’re in no condition to go out in the field if you can randomly double over and hack up flower petals.”
Blitz had paled slightly. “Fine, but we don’t tell Loona until we figure out what this is. She has enough stress in her life just from being a teenager. I don’t need her worrying about me for no reason.”
Moxxie and Millie exchanged a look but agreed on one condition: Blitz had to go to a clinic while they were on the mission.
“Deal. I’ll go but I doubt a doctor would know enough to figure out whatever the f*ck this is.”
****
After a brief examination at the urgent care, a puzzled looking doctor came back holding a couple pamphlets. “So you’ve had a lot of coughing and recently started coughing up flower petals?” she asked.
“Yes. It sounds f*cking crazy but I-” he doubled over as he coughed up a few more. He vaguely recognized them as the petals on Stolas’s carnivorous plant.
“You have a rare disease, or curse, whichever way you choose to look at it called Hanahaki. It’s caused by unrequited love. Oftentimes the petals have a special significance.” At her words, Blitz paled so much his scars almost blended in. The doctor handed him a bottle of water and the pamphlets before continuing. “You have four options: the one you love returns your affections and you’re cured, you fall out of love within a couple weeks and you’re cured, you undergo surgery which will remove the flowers as well as your ability to have romantic feelings for anyone, or you die. You have time to make a decision. Your case appears to be advancing slower than others from what I can tell but I wouldn’t delay making your choice.”
“What do you recommend?” he rasped out.
“Surgery. This is Hell. Love has no place here. It has minimal complications which are covered thoroughly in the pamphlets.” she gestured at them half heartedly before leaving.
“f*ck.” Blitz mentally reviewed his options. Each one seemed worse than the last. Deciding he wasn’t going to decide in a clinic, he left and headed back to the office.
****
The office was empty, thankfully. Blitz needed a good hard cry, a numbing agent, and/or to go on a murder spree. He wasn’t entirely sure what he needed or wanted right now. He let out an eardrum shattering scream. Coincidentally, it was at the same time Moxxie and Millie returned. They dropped their things and ran to him.
“What happened, B? You can talk to us,” Mille said gently.
Blitz told them what the doctor had said and showed them the pamphlets. He was too wrecked to really deal with it. He started to fade. The last thing he heard before he slipped into unconsciousness was “You're not alone anymore. We’ll help you make the decision if you want.”
****
He came to on an unfamiliar bed, coughing up petals. “Glad to see you’re awake, sir. You’ve been unconscious for several hours,” Moxxie said.
“Where am I?”
“You’re in our bed.”
“Huh?”
“You passed out at work and we weren’t going to leave you there or at your apartment alone in case something happened.”
“Oh, that’s…above and beyond. Want employee of the month again?” Blitz tried to smile and joke but it felt like his face was cracking.
“Seriously, sir?? Are you insane?”
“...clearly. I am so in love with Stolas it cursed me and I told him I just wanted to f*ck which is probably the root of this entire bloody problem!”
“Want me to kill him, B?” Millie asked as she came into the room with a bowl of soup. “Eat.”
“No. I love him too much. I’d rather die than let him die.” Moxxie winced. He knew Blitz’s mental state was not good but didn’t think it was that extreme.
****
A few days later, Moxxie and Millie were arguing with Blitz.
“You guys go complete our missions. You’ve been taking care of me for the past couple days and neglecting our work.”
“Sir, you’re not in good condition. It makes sense to have someone to stay with you.”
“This mission requires two people, Mox. You both need to go, and it needs to be done soon.”
Moxxie looked like he was about to explode. Millie stepped in. “Honey, Blitz has a point. We have been neglecting our work. We can’t help him if we don’t have any money.”
“Fine.” Moxxie pointed at Blitz. “There are conditions though! You go home and rest, you check in with us regularly, and if you say the word, we’ll be back!”
“Yes, Moxxie. Unclench your asshole. I’ll be fine.” he handed them the Asmodean crystal. “Go. I’ll be at my apartment.” he leaves without another word, though he does dart into a bathroom to hack up more petals on his way to the van.
****
When Blitz walked through the door of his apartment, he was greeted by blissful silence and a note from Loona saying she’d be back soon. He was grateful he wouldn’t have to explain anything.
Bored, he opened his phone and scrolled through social media til he stumbled upon something that made bile and flowers well up in his throat: a photo of Stolas kissing someone else, complete with the caption “The Prince’s New Fling?”
He rushed to the bathroom and vomited violently, blood and bile and flower petals coming up, his head spinning. He really doesn’t want me.
With that thought burrowing its way through his mental defenses, Blitz went into a frenzy, crying and clawing at his skin. It felt like thorns were constricting his heart. I don’t want to have a heart. I would rather die than have it!
Blitz left the bathroom, wiping his mouth. He needed to do something. He couldn’t get over Stolas, he couldn’t just confess to him, he couldn’t bear to lose his feelings for Stolas, and he couldn’t die because of the disease. He would die on his own terms.
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